So I have this friend. And we’re extremely close, like sisters. We do NOT see eye to eye all the time and we struggle with each other sometimes but we love each other and when it matters we’re there for each other.
Her momma died today.
I never know what to say at times like these. I’m awkward and worried about saying the wrong thing or hurting already bruised feelings. She was kind to me when Mr. G and I were separated (my friend’s mother). And her and my friend were straight but compassionate with me. They didn’t really sugarcoat but they didn’t bash me either. She’s been sick for so long but she carried herself with SUCH grace. She was a remarkable woman who still enjoyed her life in spite of being sick. She didn’t let it make her bitter. I’m excited about meeting my friend’s family but I’m devastated it’s under these circumstances.
I’m not really religious. At all. Y’all know that. But pray for my friend and her family anyway please. She’s heartbroken and I can’t help.
So we went to visit M this past weekend. We also went to court since he’s been removed from his mother’s care. It was a clusterfuck and a half. Folks telling lies left and right to everyone involved and at the end of the day a wonderful little boy has been told lies and left feeling abandoned in part because he has been.
We left him behind but there is a plan in place from him to come to our home and I’m glad for that. Mr. G was so disappointed and heartbroken but given the fact that M would be crossing state lines the plan of action makes sense. It sucks but it makes sense.
We miss you and we’re thinking of you kiddo.
I’ve been up down and all around lately. I’ve been working on keeping up with my meds and whatnot but I’m not in therapy and it’s really a pain in the ass to make it happen where I am. If I don’t get a car here I’ll just get to it when I get to Jax. I care but I don’t care. I don’t know. I’m just feeling really low right now and I haven’t blogged in a while so now you get to hear it. Read it rather.
I’m trying and I’m working and I’m hoping and damnit I just don’t know why. I don’t care but I do care and I just…I don’t know. This blog really has no kind of point. It’s just what it is.
I like my dreads but I don’t. Next set will be smaller. Significantly smaller. Maybe I’ll have someone help me put in the twists. I’m working on a freeform challenge. Should be fun. It’s definitely easier with all the kids running around to just not retwist.