I Didn’t Like My Kid Today

So. Title pretty much says it all. We went to Water Country USA. It’s a pretty decent waterpark. He was manipulative, mouthy and inappropriate. I sort of feel like even though he can’t really read he can sense we’re running out of time and he going back to where he has no rules or boundaries. Like internally he just doesn’t see the point in following our rules anymore.

It’s heart breaking and frustrating at the same time. This whole…thing is crazy. It’s a huge stir up in my life but I go through it gladly. It’d…it’d just be nice to go in public ONE. TIME. without him thinking it’s okay to grab his penis and smile at people while he does it.
(and no he doesn’t have to pee he just likes to hold it) I wish the judge could see what we see and realize he’s in danger where he is. If he gets to the point where he’s in juvie or jail or a psych ward…my husband will be devastated. And as selfish as it is….when he’s hung up on his kids it takes him away from our future. It leaves me hanging alone while he shuts down or us scrambling to handle fall out. Neither of which are conducive to having a life and making a family. I feel like I’m in stasis.

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We Miss You M

So we went to visit M this past weekend. We also went to court since he’s been removed from his mother’s care. It was a clusterfuck and a half. Folks telling lies left and right to everyone involved and at the end of the day a wonderful little boy has been told lies and left feeling abandoned in part because he has been.

We left him behind but there is a plan in place from him to come to our home and I’m glad for that. Mr. G was so disappointed and heartbroken but given the fact that M would be crossing state lines the plan of action makes sense. It sucks but it makes sense.

We miss you and we’re thinking of you kiddo.