So Mr. G left this week. They came home earlier than expected in December with the knowledge they were going to have to go back out about a month before they were originally scheduled to be home. So. That happened. And he was told he’d be able to stay back and be here for the birth and then the big boys over his boss’s head told him no. So he left with everyone else this week.
I think he took it harder than I did. I think part of me was waiting for it to fall through the entire time somewhere in the back of my mind. Don’t get me wrong I planned like he was gonna stay but I wasn’t surprised when they said no either. It is what it is ya know? This is what our life is.
So I’m in the 34th week right now. It’s third trimester, it’s the end of the whole ordeal, it’s the home stretch. I went and toured the OB floor today with my mom and my husband. My birth plan needs some tweaking as far as wording goes but it’s done. The diaper bag came in the mail today. Shit’s really really. I’m heavy and full and ready to meet her. Of course I want her to come when she’s ready but I’m impatient.
So. Yeah. That’s how I feel. This is all sorts of fucked up and not for me and I’m not sure what I’ve gotten myself into. I dunno. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed. That’s probably a large part of it.
So my mom had knee surgery Wednesday. She originally had a knee replacement done in 2010. Things were all fine and good. This year she started having some pain in that knee and some wiggling feelings. Fast forward and it turns out infection got in there and so things shifted around and got loose. So she had to have the knee replacement removed and an antibiotic spacer installed. It’s not an actual knee joint it’s just a spacer. Keeps everything from fusing and puts antibiotics right at the source of the infection. After about 6-8 weeks, when they’re sure the infection is completely cleared up, they’ll put another knee replacement in. Right now she’s waiting on cultures to come back before she can leave the hospital. They were supposed to take 5 days to grow and they haven’t grown yet. I don’t know if this means that it’s a slow growing infection (which I think would mean it could be easier to kill off) or that there was no infection (so what caused the replacement hardware to start to fail?!?!) and no one really has any answers for me. So…that’s frustrating. The house is weird without her in it. Not to mention I can miss one of them (my mom and my husband) but then I need the other one to be where they’re supposed to be. It’s been rough. I’m trying to be optimistic and just relax in the fact that she’s coming home soon and so is he.
On a unrelated note, I’m a Scentsy consultant as I’m sure I’ve mentioned. Right now I’m running two specials. First off, I’ve got a party that qualifies for free shipping!!! Secondly I’m running a special. Buy $30 worth of product, any product and get a bar of your choice free. Not a scent I pick out for you anything of your choice. If Scentsy has it in stock you will get it. Email me at email@example.com for the link to the online catalog or to place an order!!!
There’s no other words for what today was.
I woke up uncomfortable. Couldn’t rest, couldn’t get comfortable. Felt uneasy and uncomfortable in my skin. Extremely worried. Tried to eat and calm down. Felt calm but it didn’t last, my dad got up asking 50 million different things when he was rude as hell yesterday. I was supposed to make phone calls and I was just so agitated I couldn’t stay on the phone long enough to make them.
It upset my stomach to the point where I threw up. I hurt all over. I feel anxious and alone. I just want my husband and of course I can’t have him.
Today just sucked.
It’s going. This boat is not as together as the last one and that annoys me. As weird as it is (Mr. G is a full five years older than I am) I feel like I’ve given them a piece of me that’s extremely important to take care of and they’re mismanaging the care of it. He’s my snoogie damnit. I guess it annoys me that he’s expected to give so much of his life and time for…not the best pay and they can’t get food to the boat in a timely manner. (They dropped some of it in the ocean.) Or they lose mail. I just…it’s annoying. It’s not the biggest thing in the world I know, and it could be worse so spare me all of that. It’s just like…dude come on.
Today I’m preparing to bake him some goods. I’m hoping they get there in a decent amount of time but who can really know? I’ll post pictures! Maybe even engage my readers! Woohoo!
So Mr. G is gone. (I can’t remember if I made that clear in a previous post.) Uhm…it’s hard. Harder than I thought it would be. It’s been 4 years since we danced this dance. And it is a dance. Intricate and taxing, you have to be careful to not step on feelings and turn on a dime when a date is changed…leap over unexpected bills and heavy decisions and you better be graceful because you signed up for this.
The Mister’s car got some not so good news on it. It’s time to sell it and get another car. There is currently a heavy debate between used car and new. Choices, choices, choices. We’ll figure it out though. We figure everything out. The house situation is still not settled and it’s actually ending up in ways that are QUITE unexpected. We’ve got no one to blame but ourselves though so we’ll deal with it.