Let’s Talk About: Identifiers

Who are you? What are you?

I am black. I’m not entirely sure if I’ve said that on here or if it’s on my About Me page. I’ve been blogging under this name and this title for about a year (I started this blog on another platform so it might be longer but I didn’t transfer everything over because it was a long ass stupid process) and I’m not entirely you could envision me.

Being black is awesome but it isn’t a big deal to me. I enjoy it, do not get me wrong AT. ALL. I completely enjoy and love my culture. As a people, African Americans have overcome a host of injustices and it hasn’t broken us. Many of us are bitter, that is true, but we still have contributed all of these wonderful amazing things to the American landscape. From food to music to all of the great inventors to spiritual discovers and an innate sense of family…we’ve accomplished a great deal. I’m very proud to be black. It’s just not the first set of glasses I view the world through.

My musical tastes are widely varied. The Black Keys, Anthony Hamilton, Skrillex, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, Red Hot Chili Peppers I love them all. I like soul food as much as the next person but I also really enjoy French cuisine and green healthy eating. I like beer (micro brews or anything that doesn’t taste like sweat sock swill) and mudding. Apples to Apples is one of my favorite games. I just…I like what I like. Yes I’m a black woman but that’s the whole sum of the “issue”. I’m a black WOMAN. Black is a type of woman I am, not the entirety of my being. I approach situations as a woman first. I tend not to bring race into a situation until someone else brings it in. And it seems that society at large has an issue with that.

*blink blink*

I don’t know what to tell society. I NEVER know what to tell society because I always seem to be doing the wrong thing. I’ll tell you a secret though. I like the way I view the world. I don’t want to be hostile all of the time. And a lot of people who put race first seem to be hostile. Always being offended by someone about something. I don’t want to live my life like that. There’s too many things to be happy about and life is too short. Liking what I like doesn’t make me white or stuck up or bougie. I don’t think I’m better than the black person who might be standing next to me. I just like what I like. Some of it is on the high end but plenty of people like the good things in life, that’s why people continue to make the nice things in life. I’m not the first person to like them and I won’t be the last.

I am a woman. I am a daughter/sister/wife. I am black.

Tell me: Who are you? How do you identify yourself?

Let’s Talk About Polyamory

That’s been something that has really been talked up in my internet circle lately. I don’t know why maybe it’s because there’s more episodes of Sister Wives premiering soon. At any rate, that and other happenings have brought the concept of polyamory back into the forefront of my mind.

I’ve never really liked being alone. I don’t MIND being alone, but it’s not my favorite thing in the world. I miss the chance to be with a woman. I’ve done it before but neither situation worked out for reasons that I’m pretty sure I have a handle on and wouldn’t be an issue in the future. There were a few messy details and I’d just like a clear shot at it. I’m not a big fan of casual sex for the sake of sex. Let’s be at least friends you know? And don’t act like it’s all cool that we do whatever when you KNOW it’s going to fuck up your relationship with this dude over there. I have my own guy and I don’t want to steal you from your guy. Also don’t think that sleeping with me is a way to get to my husband and get him away from me. If Mr. G and I are done it’ll be because it’s something that we decided. If you’re looking to get in with him, tip #1 he objects to triflin’ stanks.Ho shit is never cute.

At the same time I don’t think I’d like being exclusively with a woman. Ideally if they were upfront and honest with me and people were safe and I felt secure I’d like to think I could deal with my partners having other partners. It’s just have to be done in the right way ya know? Everyone being honest and open and upfront about things. One thing I can’t stand is feeling like I know something that someone has chosen to withhold from me. It just..it makes me angry, insecure, and frustrated. I hate all of those feelings and it makes me furious when someone I love generates them.

 

I’ll come back to this later I’m sure but that’s all the thoughts I have on the subject right now.

Let’s Talk About Hair

Namely mine. Lately I’m sick of it. Between sun and crummy water they’re getting really sun bleached again AND….I’ve got a full face. Some would say fat. I look better with longer hair. And locs tend to make your hair shrink. To say I’m frustrated would be the understatement of the century. BUT, locing is a journey so…onward and upward right? Right.