60 some odd days left

…and nothing is getting done. No one seems concerned and moving is hard for me so my abilities are limited; especially when considering everything else I have to do because my mom is still out of commission.

 

Sigh.

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Missing Mom and some Scentsy deals!!!

So my mom had knee surgery Wednesday. She originally had a knee replacement done in 2010. Things were all fine and good. This year she started having some pain in that knee and some wiggling feelings. Fast forward and it turns out infection got in there and so things shifted around and got loose. So she had to have the knee replacement removed and an antibiotic spacer installed. It’s not an actual knee joint it’s just a spacer. Keeps everything from fusing and puts antibiotics right at the source of the infection. After about 6-8 weeks, when they’re sure the infection is completely cleared up, they’ll put another knee replacement in. Right now she’s waiting on cultures to come back before she can leave the hospital. They were supposed to take 5 days to grow and they haven’t grown yet. I don’t know if this means that it’s a slow growing infection (which I think would mean it could be easier to kill off) or that there was no infection (so what caused the replacement hardware to start to fail?!?!) and no one really has any answers for me. So…that’s frustrating. The house is weird without her in it. Not to mention I can miss one of them (my mom and my husband) but then I need the other one to be where they’re supposed to be. It’s been rough. I’m trying to be optimistic and just relax in the fact that she’s coming home soon and so is he.

 

On a unrelated note, I’m a Scentsy consultant as I’m sure I’ve mentioned. Right now I’m running two specials. First off, I’ve got a party that qualifies for free shipping!!! Secondly I’m running a special. Buy $30 worth of product, any product and get a bar of your choice free. Not a scent I pick out for you anything of your choice. If Scentsy has it in stock you will get it. Email me at awickedrose@gmail.com for the link to the online catalog or to place an order!!!

K.I.S.S. and how it helped my budget

Our budget.
You name it and we’ve tried it. We’re forgetful, we’re absent-minded and oftentimes we’re broke on top of all of that. So the budget is pushed at the seams as it is and then on top of that one of us inevitably leaves something out.
Until recently. Introduce the notebook. Plain, classic and easily available. I didn’t come up with this and honestly I feel dumb that I didn’t. But back to the point: You get a notebook. You write a payday at the top of the front of a page. You write the bills that will be paid out of that paycheck down and add them up. Then once you get paid, you write the amount that hit your account (or if it was in the negative you write what you ended up getting but this process should eliminate this happening over time) on the BACK of the page you wrote your expected expenses on.

So your first page would look like this:

October 1st

Car note,
+mortgage
+insurance
+credit card
+everyone else who wants your money
                                                                                    
$All Your Coins ‘n Dollas

Then on the back of that page it would look like this:

Small paycheck
-Car insurance
-mortgage
-car note
-credit card
-everything else you owe
                                                    
$The money you have left for gas, food and some damn near free fun
 

Then to help things, if some of these are automated or not instantly subtracted from your bank account; you write the items down and then you give them a red check mark when they clear the account. This is GREAT for the things that are automated because if you look and go to spend money and seem to have too much, you can reference the book and be all oh yeah this hasn’t cleared. It helps stay on top of things.

This has…it’s relieved SO much stress. By using this in addition to my Ledgerist app I feel in control of our money instead of the other way around.

I Was Gonna Be….

I wanted to be a writer. Go to NYU or Carnegie Mellon. Maybe UCLA for something. I wanted out of Virginia. I wanted to live life and just…find me. And I wanted to write. I’ve always loved writing, almost as much as I love talking. I’d thought about social work as well. But I wanted to go to where the action was. I wanted to be surrounded by people as creatively driven as I was/hope I still am. I was always the creative one in the family. My mom says I was her wild flower child. (In spite of being born in 1989.)

I didn’t do any of that though. My dad got sick and I felt like I needed to stay close. I also fell in love with Mr. G. I think if just one of those had happened I still would have left. But instead I used one to justify the other. It’s ok to stay for a guy because I need to be here for my dad anyway. And even though my mom stays things will be ok with my dad it’s not like I’d be throwing my life away if I stayed to be close to him because I’ve got this great guy. I’ll still have a personal life. Aside from the fact that our move further down South proved me right about my suspicions about my parents (she’s a workaholic and my daddy gets lonely, my brother is an asshole), I don’t think it worked like I’d planned it. Have no career and I haven’t really done anything meaningful with my life. I gambled and on days like today I feel like I lost.

Let’s Talk About: Identifiers

Who are you? What are you?

I am black. I’m not entirely sure if I’ve said that on here or if it’s on my About Me page. I’ve been blogging under this name and this title for about a year (I started this blog on another platform so it might be longer but I didn’t transfer everything over because it was a long ass stupid process) and I’m not entirely you could envision me.

Being black is awesome but it isn’t a big deal to me. I enjoy it, do not get me wrong AT. ALL. I completely enjoy and love my culture. As a people, African Americans have overcome a host of injustices and it hasn’t broken us. Many of us are bitter, that is true, but we still have contributed all of these wonderful amazing things to the American landscape. From food to music to all of the great inventors to spiritual discovers and an innate sense of family…we’ve accomplished a great deal. I’m very proud to be black. It’s just not the first set of glasses I view the world through.

My musical tastes are widely varied. The Black Keys, Anthony Hamilton, Skrillex, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, Red Hot Chili Peppers I love them all. I like soul food as much as the next person but I also really enjoy French cuisine and green healthy eating. I like beer (micro brews or anything that doesn’t taste like sweat sock swill) and mudding. Apples to Apples is one of my favorite games. I just…I like what I like. Yes I’m a black woman but that’s the whole sum of the “issue”. I’m a black WOMAN. Black is a type of woman I am, not the entirety of my being. I approach situations as a woman first. I tend not to bring race into a situation until someone else brings it in. And it seems that society at large has an issue with that.

*blink blink*

I don’t know what to tell society. I NEVER know what to tell society because I always seem to be doing the wrong thing. I’ll tell you a secret though. I like the way I view the world. I don’t want to be hostile all of the time. And a lot of people who put race first seem to be hostile. Always being offended by someone about something. I don’t want to live my life like that. There’s too many things to be happy about and life is too short. Liking what I like doesn’t make me white or stuck up or bougie. I don’t think I’m better than the black person who might be standing next to me. I just like what I like. Some of it is on the high end but plenty of people like the good things in life, that’s why people continue to make the nice things in life. I’m not the first person to like them and I won’t be the last.

I am a woman. I am a daughter/sister/wife. I am black.

Tell me: Who are you? How do you identify yourself?

Housewife/Workingwife

Sometimes it’s hard to mesh the demands of working with the desires of homemaking. I know it’s so old-fashioned and it doesn’t seem like me at all but I really enjoy it. I like that I made the bread that we eat, and that most of our meals are from scratch. I love that I can impact my family’s day with small simple touches.

At the same time I like nice things. Really nice things. And I like having my own money. Its nice to have a sense of I have this to spend and I don’t like to struggle. I enjoy when things are easy.

Those two ideas don’t mesh well together. I have this idea for my life. Its this beautiful quilt that has all this intricate stitching….those are the people and interactions that I encounter. Then you have the fabric. Its rich and varied but it all flows together. Lately that’s not the case though. My edges are all puckered. I could cut back in places. That’s a totally valid solution to the internal conflict I feel. But at the end of the day I want it all. I want to make all of this craziness work.

I’m exhausted, I haven’t made my husband lunch in about 4 days, most of my clothes have holes in them but that doesn’t matter since most of them are dirty and I have no energy. But I have a job watching an adorable baby, we’ve made a debt in our debt so I’m working towards getting new clothes and my job is incredibly low stress. Things are on an upswing. Time management skills are definitely coming into play and getting improved.

I don’t think I’ll ever really resolve the struggle but I think I’ll be happy with the act of trying. Let me go work on this paper and get a loaf of bread started.

Christmas with M and my Mom

So we went to spend two days with M. Christmas Eve and the day before. It was nice. His grandfather is incredibly kind and most of his family is actually. A lot of lies have been told and at the end of the day I’m just sad about it because things didn’t have to be like this. If she’d just told the truth and used a little bit of common sense…things wouldn’t be so hard for M now. It breaks my heart for him. But things will get better if I keep believing in that.

I got to see my mom and dad!!! I…I love them so much. It really recharged my batteries to see them and know they’re doing well. Christmas is such a family time I would have been really bummed out if I hadn’t been able to see at least some of my family.

 

A new year is coming and it’s bringing a new addition to our household, new adventures and a new duty station. I’m stoked!