So my mom had knee surgery Wednesday. She originally had a knee replacement done in 2010. Things were all fine and good. This year she started having some pain in that knee and some wiggling feelings. Fast forward and it turns out infection got in there and so things shifted around and got loose. So she had to have the knee replacement removed and an antibiotic spacer installed. It’s not an actual knee joint it’s just a spacer. Keeps everything from fusing and puts antibiotics right at the source of the infection. After about 6-8 weeks, when they’re sure the infection is completely cleared up, they’ll put another knee replacement in. Right now she’s waiting on cultures to come back before she can leave the hospital. They were supposed to take 5 days to grow and they haven’t grown yet. I don’t know if this means that it’s a slow growing infection (which I think would mean it could be easier to kill off) or that there was no infection (so what caused the replacement hardware to start to fail?!?!) and no one really has any answers for me. So…that’s frustrating. The house is weird without her in it. Not to mention I can miss one of them (my mom and my husband) but then I need the other one to be where they’re supposed to be. It’s been rough. I’m trying to be optimistic and just relax in the fact that she’s coming home soon and so is he.
On a unrelated note, I’m a Scentsy consultant as I’m sure I’ve mentioned. Right now I’m running two specials. First off, I’ve got a party that qualifies for free shipping!!! Secondly I’m running a special. Buy $30 worth of product, any product and get a bar of your choice free. Not a scent I pick out for you anything of your choice. If Scentsy has it in stock you will get it. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for the link to the online catalog or to place an order!!!
Anyone have any links to WordPress tutorials they really enjoyed and found helpful. Part of this whole drive to be a better person for my baby is trying to get employed or at the very least broaden my horizons. I know there’s money in blogging, but I also know that’s not a reason to be blogging because it’s not as easy as one would think AND it doesn’t happen as readily as one would think. But I do think I could use my blog to open myself up and expose myself to more possibilities. I don’t know what the future has in store for me. Retail, office work, crafting, work from home…but there’s something. I know just with being more mindful about my Twitter usage and clearing out some of the trash on my timeline, I’ve made contact with more inspirational people. More work at home moms, more natural mamas, just more people who are where I want to be. I’m old enough where I feel like I need to be surrounded with likeminded people. It’s been great and I’ve gotten some great insight and inspiration. I’d like my blog to do the same thing my Twitter has for me. I’d like to….I don’t just want to connect. I want to make BETTER connections. That’s what I’m looking for. So…if there’s any tutorials that you really enjoy I’d love some links. I’m wanting to get my contact information up on my blog so that people can get in touch with me easier.
Fear stops me from doing a lot of things. But with the Solstice and then the New Year I feel this urge to do something different. Not necessarily to be better but to switch the game up. There’s a variety of things I’ve always wanted to do that I’ve let fear hold me back from. And I don’t want to live half a life anymore. I don’t want to constantly second guess myself or think about things I should have done…I just want to do things. I want to live life authentically.
I can make no promises as to how pretty this will end up but I hope you enjoy reading about it. I’m going to do a series of blog posts called Moving Towards Change and they’ll touch on the things I’m trying to tweak. I don’t know how this is different from my wish list, or how this isn’t a 2012 Resolutions Post, or which post (my wish list or the MTC series) has more likelihood of actually coming to fruition….I just know all those things are true. Take my word on this.
First thing up: My crafting business. Not only actually getting it going but resisting the urge to give everything out for free. Fingers crossed I don’t lose friends over it. I feel like for what I’d charge the quality is there but I have to continue to find the motivation to actually make stock, stop being such a chickenshit and put myself out there AND limit the number of gifts I give out. I have a lot of anxiety about making people upset with me but the good thing is a lot of my friends have their own hobby businesses and they actually manufacturer things that I want. They’re reasonable people who I think would be open to trades but I’ll never know if I don’t ask now will I? Also, touching on the motivation point, I have to make it a priority. My other responsibilities will suck all of the time out of my life if I let them. And since it’s MY time….why don’t’ I just take it back?
I’ve been working on TCF and if I can stay on top of it; pictures will be up tomorrow of some items for sale as well as a few “these are custom things I’ve made for friends that I wouldn’t mind getting paid for” things. I really have to crack down on less gratis. I dunno I guess lately I’ve looked at it as I have a lot to be grateful for and I owe a lot of people so….I give with my hands. But…I’ve dreamed of this since January 2010. Mr. G is military, I could never use everything I’d like to make and put out…it just makes sense. But I keep letting small things distract me and I don’t want that anymore.
One thing that’s got me off my knitting game lately is the fact that I’m retaining water like a beast. All my clothing is tighter all over and then on top of that my feet and hands are swollen and they hurt. It hurts to walk and it hurts to hold anything. I’m trying to really crack down on my sodium levels and just drink and drink water and hopefully nip this in the bud. The pain is ridiculous and it’s holding me back.
While I have to take more breaks than I’d like I’m making good use of my time by working on my reading goals and I’ve updated that post so check it out here.
I care about so many different people. I love so many different people but I can’t be everything for everyone. And at this point I just want what I want for me. I want my independence and I want to make my own choices and I want what’s best for me.
I’ve been dealt a great disappointment today. I want to wallow in it but that wouldn’t get me anywhere so there’s no point in that. I just have to rethink things.
So I blogged about this a while ago:
Since then I’ve talked to her and tried to work through things. Yeah no dice. I don’t even think it’s necessarily a bad thing it’s more like we just do business completely differently. There’s just not enough communication going on and….eh I’m just not feeling it. Besides with this whole separation thing I need to be able to tweak deadlines and things to fit where I’m at and what I’m doing without that equaling I will make policies and decisions for the business without your input.
I have most everything figured out…I’m reworking a concept I had back in spring of 2009. The question is….how to go about talking to her about it? Part of me doesn’t see a point because communication has been non-existent up until this point and I just don’t see the need to have this whole big conversation when it’d be easier just to DO what I’d like to do KWIM?
Friends and business….never ever ever mix them. Ever.