It Will Break You

So we’ve had M for about a week now. He’s slowly learning what rules are and he’s having fun. However I have never resented my husband more in my life. I love him but I’m tired, overworked, stressed out, and angry. Patience is something I’ve long since given up on. Divorce has been mentioned numerous times and if we could afford it, paperwork would have likely been filed already.

 

There’s been so much money and time and effort that’s gone into this endeavor. And I don’t really regret any of it. It was necessary. When I married my husband I signed up for this. I agreed to love his children just as much as I love him, if not more. M needs us. His current situation is NOT a good one. He’s not in danger but he’s not thriving or growing emotionally like he should be. But so much has been poured into this situation and it could still be meaningless. It could all be for nothing. That’s depressing and defeating and it drains you. Fighting for custody is something that needs to be carefully considered because it can break you. No matter what you say it might not be good enough and that’s terrifying.

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