A Lesson in Being Realistic

I came home with all sorts of great expectations. I’m not gonna do this anymore and he’s not gonna do that anymore. Things will be different because we’ve worked to make them different.

That was unrealistic as fuck.

People grow and people change, but the foundation is still the same. There’s no changing the foundation without a psychotic break and that hasn’t happened on either side. I still have my triggers and he still has his. I’m fed the fuck up right now. Like I could walk away and not give a shit. I’ve loved hard and I’m a better person for the experience; give me my shirt and my hat and point me towards the exit.

I don’t even think there’s a right and a wrong in this situation. There’s talking without thinking and half ass listening. Maybe that’s who we are as people. Maybe marriage is just a load of bullshit. Maybe I’d feel vindicated if I punched him in the face. (Strike the maybe from that because I KNOW I’d feel better. But let’s be realistic it wouldn’t accomplish anything good.)

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